


Winter Ballad

by wildflower927



Series: A Love Song [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Character Development, Emotional ride, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:28:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28157559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildflower927/pseuds/wildflower927
Summary: There is a part of Taeyong that is scared to live without those feelings for Johnny; all the while beside them grow the feelings he has for Jaehyun. So this is not just a matter of learning how to reclassify the lengths he's disposed to make for Johnny, he needs to relearn their friendship. To get a grip of the boundaries there should be when it comes to Johnny. But before acting on it, before slowly reintegrating Johnny back into his life, he needs to have a clear picture of it.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Series: A Love Song [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2044132
Comments: 14
Kudos: 84





	Winter Ballad

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome back if you've been here before! I'm here with the sequel for 'Autumn Song' where we're diving into the progress and what happens after.  
> This piece is the continuation of 'Autumn Song' and if you haven't read that, I recommend you consider it as it will make more sense.  
> There's a brief scene with edging, nothing wild, most of it is fluffy.  
> If by the end of it you like this, please consider leaving a Kudo.

Happiness turns out to be a long road besides time and energy consuming. Taeyong can't say he's happy but can't say he isn't happy either. After a couple of months of dating Jaehyun, things are working well for them but at a slow pace. Jaehyun allows Taeyong the time and space to get comfortable, to get and adjust his feelings. But Jaehyun is Jaehyun. He is the sweetest and the most understanding person Taeyong ever met. In the past months, Taeyong not only discovered a completely different Jaehyun, but he also discovers a completely new self.

Getting over Johnny entirely, Taeyong notes, is not impossible but it doesn't happen from a day to another, regardless of how much he wants to make things work with Jaehyun. He doesn't bring this into the discussion and tries to keep Jaehyun away from whatever happens in this process. On the other hand, integrating Johnny back into his life needs as much time and an equally slow pace.

A slow pace that came with some adjustments into Taeyong's life which include getting a new job and taking a pause from their friend group. Despite Johnny being understanding and swearing their friendship remains intact, Taeyong filtered his options and the steps he needs to do in order to make it possible. He didn't find a straight road to it. He also met Johnny about two times in passing since the time they met to confront each other while he completely avoided Ten. It's too much and too embarrassing for him regardless of how much Ten assures him everything it's fine, Taeyong is not fine but he moves on. He moves on while still updating Johnny on how things are because somehow Taeyong falls comfortable in communicating with him through devices rather than meeting him face to face. It's also a habit he developed over the years in sharing everything with Johnny. He filters it now but doesn't cut Johnny off completely.

Sometimes though rarely, Jaehyun happens to call Taeyong when he's with Johnny for the latter to snuggle his nose into the phone and tell Taeyong, with the warmest voice how much he wants to hear his voice at least through the phone. He doesn't push on the fact that Taeyong doesn't want to meet with him nor on the fact that Taeyong rejects all his calls in favor of texting. Once the abundant voice messages flowing in their box is now replaced with text. They don't talk about Ten either. Not much at least, just slight hints implying certain romantic gestures of Johnny towards his husband. It's something they've always shared and Taeyong does want to know. Other times Ten would texts him, small, mundane talk. Checking if he's doing fine but Taeyong doesn't ask back, too afraid of what would be coming next if their discussion would prolong.

In all of this, Taeyong gets closer to the other person that was always the second closest friend to Johnny, Doyoung. He and Doyoung found themselves many times rounding Johnny. Not that Taeyong was ever jealous of them, he enjoys Doyoung's witty and unfiltered opinions. At times Doyoung was a source of entertainment, now more frequent than not and for that Taeyong is grateful.

"So you're not going to join us for Thanksgiving." The coincidence makes it that, Taeyong now works with Doyoung which is much more comfortable than working with Johnny. It also keeps him in check with things that happen at their gatherings or brings him announcements their friends make during these meetups before Taeyong is being texted and let know. It's reassuring, it's not ideal nor great but Taeyong needs time and he's grateful everyone is allowing it to him. He can only hope that once he's fully prepared to reintegrate into the group it won't be too late for him. "Tell me at least you're considering Christmas."

"Thanksgiving is around the corner but maybe until Christmas, I'll be ready." Taeyong didn't join them for Chuseok, didn't join them for Golden Week, didn't attend Halloween, and excused himself for Yuta and Sicheng's birthdays. He met the two birthday boys because Taeyong has never missed anyone's birthday. Even at times in which they couldn't celebrate, Taeyong would find a day to meet the birthday person and hand in his gift. So he did with Yuta and Sicheng but separately from the group.

"Tae, we're not judging you, you know that. We've all known besides John and Ten and loved you the same. We still love you the same and there will always be a place for you with us." That he knows. That he's told by them each and every time they manage to corner Taeyong somehow. Taeil cried for him all over a fancy table cloth in a fancy tea shop, annoying the hell out of the waitress. Yuta hugged him for minutes in a row and assured him over and over again that he's there for Taeyong anytime he needs it. Kun and Sicheng made an emergency visit and once in a while, they sent Taeyong flowers so he remembers they're still friends. Mark and Yukhei however were more baffled that he's dating Jaehyun; once his nemesis. Taeyong knows it's not about how they see him, it's not even about Johnny. This is all about himself and putting his emotions and feelings in order.

"I know Doyo, I know and I love you just as much this is why on Christmas I think I can make it back to the group." His phone goes off with a text, interrupting the discussion and announcing Taeyong the most anticipated moment of this week is minutes away from happening. 

"Why are you always blushing so hard? I still can't wrap my mind over how you two turned out."

"Oh, shut up! You and Yuta see each other every day, we don't." Doyoung fixes the collar on Taeyong's shirt, patting him encouragingly on the shoulders.

"Trust me, sometimes I wish we wouldn't see each other every day. We're nothing on the romance levels like you. Who would've thought Jaehyun a romantic, huh?" He blushes even harder at Doyoung's words, not necessarily for the way they sound but because of the flashbacks that come to his mind. The flashbacks that have Taeyong feel giddy, make his limbs tremble, his palms grow clammy, his heart hammer in his chest.

"I miss him so much Doyoung to the point in which I'm in pain." Dating is a crucial point in their development. Taeyong didn't even know he needed such a trivial occurrence because at their age who dates anymore? They all go steady right away while Jaehyun and Taeyong went back in time to holding hands, stealing sheepish glances and chaste kisses.

"Don't tell me! Are you keeping him at an arm's length because of all these?" Doyoung refers to the parties they organize. Parties that Jaehyun attends because Taeyong pushes him to go alone. That's when he figures no one knows what their relationship is like now. And what they can imagine when not long ago they were ruining every single meeting with their banter.

"No, no, I promise! He's just very busy with work and we've only seen each other briefly lately." It's sad but it's life and if Jaehyun can be patient and wait for Taeyong to accommodate into the group after the shock, Taeyong will support Jaehyun with whatever he needs. Right now that is not being dramatic over the frequency of their dates, or lack thereof.

"Hey Tae," Doyoung calls after him before Taeyong can reach the elevator and what follows has Taeyong almost crying as he makes his way down to Jaehyun. He too feels the same. "it's really good to see you genuinely happy. That color in your cheeks looks stunningly on you."

They walk mostly in silence towards the restaurant. Their arms interlaced and Taeyong leaning his head on Jaehyun's shoulder. He missed him, he misses his boyfriend every second he's not with him but all turns worthy when he sees his face. That warm face adorned with dimples caused by the toothy smile that blooms on the younger's face as soon as he spots Taeyong. Those loving eyes that look at Taeyong in a way that makes him melt. Those open arms Taeyong runs for. That warm, press of lips against lips Taeyong never wants to end.

Dinners with Jaehyun are never the same even if they go to the same restaurant over and over again. The difference lays in details, the details that are contouring their relationship. Taeyong knows Jaehyun is his and Jaehyun knows Taeyong's only got eyes for him. Without urge or desperation, they spend their time together, enjoying each other, talking, retelling their days, or what progress they've made workwise. Taeyong updates him on how his favorite series is going since Jaehyun doesn't have time to watch because of how busy he is with work. He's not that interested in all these series Jaehyun falls addicted to, but he watches them only because they make him feel closer to Jaehyun and so he can slurp all the tasty reactions Jaehyun lets out when he finds out plot twists.

They feed each other regardless of how many wicked looks they receive. Tonight, Taeyong needs to feel Jaehyun closer, every gesture matters. He misses Jaehyun and he doesn't know how to tell him because they agreed on dinner only. Dinner and separating ways but Taeyong craves to cuddle Jaehyun and it's not possible in the restaurant.

Taeyong is the one to pay after pleading it to Jaehyun. The other has paid for their dinners more times than Taeyong can remember and he also sends Taeyong flowers with occurrence both at home and in the office. It's been a rough couple of months before Taeyong settled into his new job and with the bills after taking so many days off without pay; rent doesn't care if you're switching jobs or not.

"Everything's all right?" Jaehyun squeezes the hand that he held throughout their dinner, the hand he's held as they walked out of the location, into the street towards the bus station, rubbing his thumb over the back of Taeyong's hand as they stop somewhere on a side street where they need to split up. He turns his eyes to study the patterns on the pavement when Jaehyun's lips press against his temple coaxing the worry out of Taeyong. "Mmh?"

"I- nothing, it's silly." Taeyong smiles and shakes his head trying to hide his embarrassment. He puts his best smile but Jaehyun's not buying it, knowing Taeyong well enough not to figure it's not genuine. He arches a brow. "I miss you, that's all. Can you come over tonight?"

"Babe, I miss you too, believe me! I miss you a lot, all the time. It's so frustrating that this freaking work project seems never-ending but you know I can't. I have to be there before the starting time and probably do over time." Which means they won't be seeing each other too soon, not even for dinner. If it's been days since their last one, Taeyong can imagine how long until the next. He hopes he won't start crying, as silly as it is, he feels a bit sad and blames himself for instilling the _'not staying too much over'_ rule. What a stupid rule. He starts to regret all those weekends in which he's sent Jaehyun to the gatherings despite him protesting against it, losing all those weekends of sleep with Jaehyun.

"I know, I know. I don't mean to be...I don't know. I will wait until it's over." Taeyong tries his best to break a smile Jaehyun's way.

"God babe, don't look at me like this, you're killing me!" Jaehyun looks up as if blinking tears away, something's not great on his side and Taeyong knows it's his fault. He fucked it up, like he always does because it's the only thing he knows how to do well. Jaehyun's mulling at his lips and the tension is too much, Taeyong wants to disappear. "Let's do this. Come to mine but don't expect much because I'm up at five and I'm trashed."

"We don't have to do anything, I just want to cuddle." And he does want to just cuddle Jaehyun. To entangle himself on Jaehyun like a vine and fall asleep to that body heat with his nose nestled close to Jaehyun's skin and inhale his scent. He's already high on it and very happy Jaehyun, once again, sacrifices for Taeyong.

 _Sacrifices_ because it's late in the evening but the traffic and the flow of people at the subway are unforgiving. Taeyong almost loses Jaehyun in the crumpling of bodies, only after switching the line they get to find two vacant seats next to each other. Jaehyun still holds Taeyong's hand while with the other he pulls out his pods and hands one to Taeyong. He grabs the pod leaning his head on Jaehyun's shoulder as the music starts playing. It takes him a while to recognize the song but once he does it fills his heart with so many feelings.

"Jae, don't be cheesy." He lightly smacks the younger as LeeSSang's _Turned off the TV_ keeps playing. It matches his bleeding heart so badly.

"It's not saying anything you don't already know I want you to know." A mischievous smile plays at Jaehyun's lips and _boy_ he wants to wipe it so, so badly with a kiss. He can't, though, he lets his head stay on Jaehyun's shoulder until they reach the station, then continue to hold his hand until they open the door of his apartment.

It's not urgent and desperate, they don't shove each other against the door or the wall but they kiss as soon as they enter the place. Jaehyun has a hand on Taeyong's nape and one on his cheeks as he pulls him closer. Taeyong's hands rest on Jaehyun's hips tilting his head to the side to better the angle. They graze at each other's lips, Jaehyun catching Taeyong's bottom lip in between his teeth while Taeyong's nibbling at Jaehyun's upper lip. It can't do so Taeyong is the first to give in and give way. They continue to kiss, long and deep by the door without even the slightest intention to stop or to make it more heated. Jaehyun pulls away first, eyes red and somewhat swollen, not with lust but with pure exhaustion, and Taeyong wishes he'd do something. Something good, instead he whined and pouted like a child and now Jaehyun will have to lose precious sleeping time because of him.

"Let's just change and go to bed. My cleanser's still around, right?" He slides his hands from Jaehyun's hips, not before leaving a squeeze. They both can skip showering for a day, no one will kill them for not being super duper fresh. Maybe in the morning, Taeyong will have enough time to freshen up, but now, he needs to cuddle Jaehyun to sleep as he promised.

"You're the boss tonight." Jaehyun lets himself be guided in his own house.

"Oh, now I'm the boss. I wish you'd say this in other contexts too." Taeyong finds the bottle of cleanser and the cotton pads next to the products Jaehyun uses. Funnily enough, they have enough things at each other's places despite not staying over days in a row. He pushes Jaehyun to sit on the bed and tilts his face up by the chin, presses a chaste kiss to his lips before watching him licking his lips in the absence of Taeyong's as his eyes remain closed for the elder to work his magic.

"When have I ever not? Babe, you're literally the boss all the time." His hands come up to rest behind Taeyong's hips as if he needs to make sure the other doesn't disappear while he keeps his eyes closed. Nice, soothing circles rub against the jutting bones of his hips, paired with the context in which the conversation rolls it's making Taeyong's craves turn darker and he doesn't want to remember when was the last time they had real sex.

"This sounds like I'm making you do things you don't like or you don't want me to do to you."

"Mmm," Jaehyun moans when the cool wet cotton pads touch his face, Taeyong tries to rub them as gentle as possible and hope they're enough to clear away the impurities for the hours they'll get of sleep. "never, I like when you're the boss."

Jaehyun changes while Taeyong removes the impurities on his own face. They don't use makeup to go to work but he's conscious of the impurities that float in a big, polluted city. When he's also ready and falls on the bed next to Jaehyun, adjusting to each other like two magnetic puzzle pieces, Taeyong feels like he came home after a long journey. Into these arms is where he belongs, where he wants to be.

"I say," Jaehyun whispers raspily against his lips, raspy with fatigue but Taeyong tries to not overthink it "we kiss a little more before we go to sleep cuz we're not getting it in a long-" Taeyong doesn't waste time on words, he gives Jaehyun what he asks for, what he, himself craves for too.

There was a time Taeyong was afraid he and Jaehyun will go too fast and one of them will realize how they actually happened and fall out of it. There were many times in which Taeyong has doubted whatever he and Jaehyun have simply because he didn't trust himself. Trying to get over the feelings he bottled up for so long is the least said confusing because there is a part of Taeyong that is scared to live without those feelings for Johnny; all the while beside them grow the feelings he has for Jaehyun. So this is not just a matter of learning how to reclassify the lengths he's disposed to make for Johnny, he needs to relearn their friendship. To get a grip of the boundaries there should be when it comes to Johnny. But before acting on it, before slowly reintegrating Johnny back into his life, he needs to have a clear picture of it. 

Johnny's been patient, he didn't claim that he understands how Taeyong feels because it's clear he doesn't; so do Jaehyun and everyone else, letting Taeyong decide when it's the right moment. On the other hand, if he's honest, the whole process is slowed down by what's new with him and Jaehyun and suddenly hits him. All the times when Johnny was apologetic for not being able to spend as much time with Taeyong anymore, for being forced to ditch Taeyong even if they had established beforehand. Johnny too had a hard time accommodating Taeyong to his life with Ten. Prioritizing love and friendship is not easy and should never be questioned, this is why everyone is understanding with him because they think Jaehyun is and should be his priority.

When Jaehyun picks him up, successfully dodging a group meetup for Taeyong, Taeyong has enough shame to feel guilty. It feels like despite not having enough free time besides struggling to squeeze Taeyong in, he also has to clear up for Taeyong. 

"The meet is for this weekend and I think we should also have a discussion about it." He's driving. It's been too long since Jaehyun moved his car during a weekday, into the scorching traffic. It's easy to make Taeyong feel uneasy because they're alone in their privacy, in the intimacy of the car with no one to use as a distraction. Taeyong can't think of a reason why this discussion needs to be serious. He hopes it's not Jaehyun reaching an end to his patience "Mark's not coming, he's away with his family. Trip to Alberta."

"That's bad, he's the only other Thanksgiving enthusiast, Johnny's gon-" Johnny's going to be extremely sad without Mark to moan about the taste of the turkey and how much he's been waiting throughout the year for it. Without Taeyong who's never missed a Thanksgiving with Johnny even when they were held at Johnny's parent's house. A luxury not even Ten's managed to experience before Johnny's parents retired and resorted to traveling around in their trailer. "But it's still good you're going to be there."

"I'm not going, I've already told them. Not if you're not coming along."

"Yo- why? I can't?"

"Bub, you know I've been attending all these meals for you." So this is going to be one of those serious talks. Taeyong feels weary, "I'm not pushing you into anything, my only point is: we don't spend much time either. My Thanksgiving should be with you. If it's still uncomfortable for you to go, it's fine, we'll dine together then spend the rest of the weekend together."

"Oh, God!" It feels bad. He knows Jaehyun's not guilt-tripping him and he has a valid point. They don't spend much time together. On the other hand, he wants to be with his friends. He's wanted all along to be there with them and laugh, listen to their awkward, embarrassing stories that flow unfiltered as soon as alcohol gets to their system. When no one is bashful about it anymore. He missed them, but he also dreads someone bringing what happened back in late August as a joke. Taeyong can't joke about him spitting his feelings in the middle of the street and actually being overheard by the people he never wanted to hear it.

"You know, if you'd talk to me, let me know what worries you, I could help." He's suddenly not confident enough to bring all the worries and doubts about Johnny and pour them on Jaehyun. He doesn't feel it's fair for Jaehyun. "They're holding the dinner on Saturday, not really on Sunday because everyone works on Monday. So, I'm thinking we could hang out just the two of us before the dinner, show up for a while, dine, and then depending on how you feel, we can pull something spontaneous. I'm good with spontaneity." 

Jaehyun is good with spontaneity. He's good with everything. Even with the relationship thing he's much, much better than Taeyong. Always so effortless, as if pleasing Taeyong is like breathing for Jaehyun. All he can think is how much of a disaster would be for Johnny if neither Mark, Taeyong, or Jaehyun would be there. He also thinks of the possibility that no matter how much he'd be ready to attend during Christmas that in almost half a year of being away maybe he will ruin the mood. Maybe Jaehyun has a point with them spending time before to ease Taeyong's nerves up and then going for a short while, like a preview, to the Thanksgiving gathering. He pulls air in his chest, exhales, and doesn't double think it.

"And if I say I do want to go just for a short while?"

"I'd kiss you and tell you how brave you are."

"I want to go." Then he watches Jaehyun check his mirrors, signaling and engaging in changing lanes. He can't help but laugh, is Jaehyun being dumb, or just eager to kiss him. Well, he's about to find out. "What are you doing, we can't pull over the hard shoulder to kiss."

"Ohh, no, we're close to our destination, we're exiting the highway."

Taeyong doesn't spoil the things by telling Jaehyun he actually thought they're going home because he doesn't want Jaehyun to think Taeyong is too tired to want to spend time with him. The destination turns out to be a lake or reservation. A place Taeyong's never been to before despite being quite close to their town. It's absolutely breathtaking. The alleys decorated with vegetation and illuminated by red lamposts reflected on the lake beside them in the illusion of a black mirror. He turns to look at Jaehyun where they walk arms interlaced, admiring his dimpled smile. The red reflected on his porcelain skin makes him look even more surreal. So handsome, all Taeyong's.

"I take it by that smile that you like it, here."

"Jae, what's this place?"

"Hmm, not to sound cheesy but this is the place I've always wanted to bring my first real boyfriend." So this must be the place he wanted to bring Ten. In the brief, sole time Jaehyun did open up about Ten, he's told Taeyong that he intended dating Ten seriously. Their breakup wasn't really a breakup, they never committed to each other. He knew Ten was in love with Johnny and when Johnny started actively courting Ten, Jaehyun retreated, no hard feelings. But other than it, Jaehyun's never told him about any other relationship and Taeyong didn't pry.

"Wait, you mean, I'm your first serious relationship, really?" He's taken aback by the sudden affirmation hum accompanied by a shy nod and the trademark bottom lip chewing. Jaehyun feels embarrassed and this is the first time Taeyong sees him wavering. The always confident and assuring Jaehyun feels insecure by admitting he's never been in a relationship. It rattles Taeyong's brain even harder because, if he's never been in a relationship, how come he's so good at it? His smile faded and Taeyong feels guilty about it and stops walking. He takes Jaehyun's hand in his, the skin to skin touch needed for the intimacy. Taeyong leans in, tipping a bit on his toes to reach the same level, and kisses Jaehyun on the lips. "You're my first serious relationship too but you're much better at this than me, so Jung Jaehyun, please guide me well through this."

"Don't be like this." Jaehyun's trembling. He's trembling with emotion. Jaehyun is trembling with the emotion Taeyong instills and in return Taeyong trembles just like melting gelatine. All warm inside. Loving, and being loved is really the best feeling to exist. This time when Jaehyun leans back into the kiss, he's hungry for tasting Taeyong. Licking into his mouth in a way that it makes Taeyong's head spin, his legs give in and worst of them all, he feels so aroused that he doesn't even realize he's feeling Jaehyun up through his coat. "Your place is closer, cool with you?"

"Only if you promise you're fine to drive there."

Jaehyun drives surprisingly patiently given the bulge of his crotch, bless the automatic cars, Taeyong guesses. His skin tingles in anticipation on the entire ride to his place because Lord save him, it's been a while since they've been so desperate to fuck. Or maybe they abstained for too long. Either of the two, Taeyong has absolutely no regrets.

Everything paints in a different light. Taeyong admits he appreciates every single gesture differently after the time that's passed. The uncapping of the lube bottle, how Jaehyun places a pillow under his hips because he wants to see his face when they do it. The kisses he places on Taeyong's inner thighs as he waits for the lube to warm up on his fingers. The sparkle that travels up his spine when Jaehyun breeches his hole and slowly fucks him with his fingers to loosen him up as he spreads his legs further apart. He's glad they agreed on one thing, that neither of them would last much the first round. Taeyong is sure he'll cum after the first solid thrusts Jaehyun will place right after finding his prostate. Likewise, Jaehyun won't last much around a too tight Taeyong and the way his eagerness doesn't allow him to control the clenching and twitching of his needy hole. But it's fine because this time Jaehyun seems determined to make use of the time they've accepted to lose sleep.

"Put it in baby, I'm ready." Taeyong bites his bottom lip while tipping Jaehyun's chin up to look into those dark orbits to appreciate the lust that devours him. Jaehyun is like that, he makes Taeyong feel wanted, feel worth it, feel precious. This is how Jaehyun fucks him too like only Taeyong can satisfy him like Taeyong's all he wants and Taeyong's pleasure is his goal. Hard and rough but not hard enough to break him.

"You feel so good. Look at me, I'm embarrassingly close." Jaehyun urges and Taeyong is too gone to know exactly what causes him to cum but he's exploding between them too fast with mouth agape while trying hard to pick up the signal of Jaehyun's caressing hand at his hip not to forget to look at him. Then he witnesses Jaehyun's face turning red to purple, probably the same shade of red the tip of his cock has when about to burst. That vein that's turning prominent like a lightning bolt across his forehead and he grunts, hips stuttering but not even once losing the eye contact. Taeyong kisses him, desperate and too high to know how he's doing it.

They catch their breaths still tangled in each other. Jaehyun placing kisses over Taeyong's collarbones while Taeyong has his arms circled around Jaehyun's neck, keeping him closer while they're still connected at the bottom. Jaehyun cranes his neck to kiss him, this time a proper kiss, long and sensual, just how they both like kissing before, during, and after sex. His hands roam freely at Taeyong's sides, pressing the spots that arouse him, reaching up to his nipples and playing with them until he has Taeyong panting and oh, so ready for the next, better round of screwing. Taeyong untangles from Jaehyun's neck in order to work his hands as well to the places that bring Jaehyun pleasure. He doesn't need to do much because the younger is already growing back hard inside of Taeyong, a sensation that's worth millions.

He loves how he can feel the growth of every inch of Jaehyun's cock. If until a moment ago the knobby head was the only noticeable part inside of him, now the shaft makes its presence noted as it stretches Taeyong's rim until it burns and his sensitive channel taking the exact shape of his lover's cock. It's worth it, every second of it, to have Jaehyun already inside of him as he grows fully hard. Taeyong is ready for Jaehyun to drill into him mercilessly. He wants the bed to shake and creak along with the squelching sounds, the skin slapping, and their dragged moans, a symphony Taeyong wants to play every night, over and over again.

"Please move," Taeyong mutters airly as Jaehyun takes a moment to prop on his elbows and to position his knees for the best leverage. He kisses Taeyong as he starts to pull out and back in with slow to increasing pace, calculating and switching angles until Taeyong pushes at Jaehyhun's lower back with a moan from the bottom of his lungs.

"I guess that's it, fuck, you're so lewd!" But doesn't stop thrusting, doesn't lose the angle and he keeps throttling Taeyong's prostate just right.

If it would be to admit to something then Taeyong would admit he loves when they fuck holding each other's gazes. When their bodies move by inertia and they look inside each other's eyes to see the things they never say aloud. Feelings in their rawest, purest form. Because this is when they're the most exposed when the pleasure is not allowing any kind of pretend or mask to interfere.

He's close, his balls announce him by the way they're squeezing. The tense of his muscles takes over from his legs to his abdomen. His breath hitches and he's taking large gulps of air. When the orgasm will hit it will be devastating and Taeyong wants it so badly that he reaches in between their bodies and squeezes his fist around his leaking cock and tugs furiously fast as Jaehyun keeps pounding him hard.

"Tae-nghh, babe-ughhh" Jaehyun's thrusts turn their erratic sharp way as he coats Taeyong's insides in white, grunting and clenching his jaw fucking Taeyong as his cock turns soft and oversensitive and he's whining into Taryong's ear. But Taeyong's not holding the pace at which he's stroking his cock, so hard and fast while the mindblowing sensation takes over his body, shouting out everything for a good while. He can't voice it, he gapes like a fish and pushes at Jaehyun's abdomen to have him slip out of his hole and turns over his side waiting for the throbbing of his muscles to stop. "Was it too much?"

"It was amazing!" He says good minutes after their euphoria wore after Jaehyun spooned him even if their bodies were spasming with aftershocks. Taeyong shifts on the spot because until now Jaehyun kept pressing small kisses on his nape, on his shoulder, on his back. He rubbed at his belly, caressed his thighs so gently and caring because he always gives Taeyong so much attention even after they're too spent from their climaxes to move a finger, Jaehyun still does it. It crossed his mind before that maybe Jaehyun too craves this kind of attention and when he's somewhat functional again he turns around to kiss Jaehyun on his lips, on the tip of his nose, to kiss each one of his eyes, his forehead. He wraps Jaehyun's larger frame with his arms and keeps him close to his chest, there were Jaehyun likes to listen to his heartbeat and whispers half in the other realm "Goodnight love, I love you!"

Thanksgiving is here and the initial plan was to meet before the feast so Taeyong's nerves can calm down a bit. Taeyong knows and has known all along the huge support Jaehyun is to him, however, in this right moment, he's so nervous that he'll either pass out either piss himself and Jaehyun will not be able to stop any of the two. He's glad Jaehyun doesn't insist on telling him encouraging words or anything that would just not allow him to take his mind away from the fact that in less than a couple of minutes they'll be at Johnny's door, ringing. He's grateful that for a split moment while riding the elevator he forgets where they are.

"Welco-" The one to open the door is Ten. He's meant to say something but his words suddenly stuck in his throat thing which skyrockets Taeyong's anxiety. Maybe not telling anyone he's showing up was a mistake. Maybe a warning was nice after months of avoiding them. Ten's expression is unreadable, his smile faded as soon as he spotted Taeyong by Jaehyun's side, his eyes turned glassy and a different kind of smile took over. There's no reaction time, no time for Taeyong to spin on his heel and run and never face them again when Ten opens his arms and wraps around Taeyong. No words are shared for a while, Taeyong can tell he's trying hard to keep his sniffles "You came, you're actually here!" He cups Taeyong's face as if he was in an accident and Ten's checking to see if he's in one piece before stepping inside the house and screaming from the top of his lungs "Johnny! Babe, Taeyong is here! Taeyong came!" 

There's a heavy paddling sound, even if he sees Ten rushing towards a door he knows it's not him the one that's shaking the floor. It's Johnny that abruptly stops in that door's frame and looks at Taeyong as if he came back from the dead. He's also teary and if the emotional moment prolongs Taeyong is going to start crying and flood the whole building because he won't stop once he'll start.

"Yong, you came!" Taeyong recognizes, late enough that Johnny wanted to hug him but doesn't know if he's allowed if Taeyong is ok with it so Taeyong opens his arms just so he can avoid seeing Johnny's tears fall off his face. Johnny's hugs were always like this, like an earthquake; hitting fast, shaking you then looking at you and shaking you again "Yong, oh my God, yo- you're here!"

"Uhm, can you take this, Taeyong baked some chips and muffins, he said Ten for sure will do tiramisu so he did these instead." Jaehyun interrupts the moment and he's grateful he did so because seeing his face makes Taeyong brace himself.

"Oh my God, I did indeed prepare tiramisu for dessert." For learners, Ten is a disaster in the kitchen and was very sad that there's nothing in this world that can turn out tasty in his hands. Taeyong suggested he'd try tiramisu and to everyone's surprise, Ten's tiramisu is very good. It was Taeyong that helped Ten perfect it, it was him that spent hours in a row so Ten can cook something edible for Johnny. He guessed Ten'll try doing it since Thanksgiving is a holiday his husband cherishes a lot and Taeyong didn't want to come with something to steal that shine away. "Thank you Taeyong, thank you for coming, it means a lot to us."

"Yeah Yong, we're truly happy you're here and if I don't look away now I'm going to cry stupid." Johnny blinks up a couple of times before he collects some excess wetness off his eyes and sniffs harshly before chuckling Taeyong's way. It really hurts the way Taeyong always knew it will.

"We won't stay for too long, I'm sorry."

"You're always welcome into our house, you know that." Ten assures him with a squeeze of his arm and it's this much he could hold looking at Johnny's and Ten's watery eyes and hearing the tremor in their voice when they keep thanking him and telling him kind words. The next thing he knows Ten's cupping his face to wipe the tears away "Oh baby no, don't cry, we didn't mean to make you cry."

Johnny moves fast to empty Jaehyun's hands so he can receive Taeyong into his arms because Taeyong can't turn to Ten or Johnny for comfort. Plus, he's a bit embarrassed with turning into rain's daughter and realizing that they were indeed honest when they said they will accept Taeyong. He also realizes just how much he missed them, Johnny mostly as he cries into Jaehyun's neck and his boyfriend rubs soothing circles on his back.

"It's ok, we can go now if it's too hard." Taeyong shakes his head, wiping his tears out and trying to calm his hiccuping as Ten brings him a tea and sits them on the couch until the rest of the guests show up.

The rainy show is not over because if Doyoung, Sicheng, and Yuta have a somewhat decent reaction to seeing him there, Kun and Taeil join him on the rainy parade as soon as they step on the door and now he's scared he ruined the entire mood for Thanksgiving. Luckily for him, once everyone is sat at the table the jokes start pouring in with Yuta and Johnny busting their tones extremely loud that only Doyoung has enough power to actually cover them. The embarrassing stories aren't late in appearing, this time Sicheng is the one to break the ice. It turns to dangerous territory and he's just afraid but Jaehyun reads him on time and excuses the both of them. 

When they make it to the door Johnny comes out of the house to say his goodbye. Taeyong knows a disappointed Johnny when he sees one. He knows Johnny hopes he'd stayed, maybe this is why he rushed out the door with them and currently cups Taeyong's hand in his.

"Hey Yong, one day things will get to how they were before, I promise! One day when you're ready. I just want you to know that having you here did it all for me this Thanksgiving."

"I know Johnny, by the Christmas party I promise I'm back. Thank you too, for being cool with me."

Jaehyun opens the car door for him, assuring Taeyong's ok at least five times before they reach there. The man that crossed Taeyong's path in a faded day is really a blessing to him. And Taeyong is still half-assed in their relationship no matter how hard he tries. They have a booking made in a fancy location with a great view but Taeyong is too down, too emotionally drenched to go.

"I'll cancel it, it's okay. I just want to spend time with you, with or without that dinner." They just ate anyway but he can't help chew on himself that he's disappointing Jaehyun so miserably. That it takes too long for Taeyong to clear up the mess in his head and heart.

"Can we watch that show of yours on Netflix and just eat junk food later on when we're hungry?" He says instead because if he sends Jaehyun home and stays at his place alone, for sure he'll end up even more miserable and cry even harder. 

Taeyong has many things to learn through them count patience and being a good boyfriend. After the Thanksgiving weekend, he and Jaehyun parted ways. Jaehyun returned to being utterly busy and Taeyong back to sticking his head in his ass. He mulled over and over the fact that Jaehyun didn't initiate anything anymore and that their dinners after work have vanished, but on the other hand, being the one with more time on hand Taeyong also does absolutely nothing. When he decides enough is enough he starts using the technology on hand to reach his boyfriend. He films himself instead of texting him. He sends and demands more pictures. It seems to do the trick despite Jaehyun not being able to respond with as many materials compared to what Taeyong sends. But it only lasts for a couple of days before it completely stops, even the flowers stop coming to his office or house.

"Do you think he wants to break up or he's met someone else and he's confused?"

"Tae, oh my God what are you saying, if I didn't witness him going 180 degrees for you I'd say you're right. He's bleeding love, he's so infatuated that I'm pretty sure you have him wrapped around your finger. Like a loyal dog." Doyoung keeps assuring him but Taeyong isn't satisfied.

Their message log says differently. His texts in the last couple of days go on read. He's completely shadowed despite trying his best to reach out to Jaehyun. By Sunday in the second week of December Taeyong gets a sole reply that feels dry like Sahara, too late in the night for him to insist because Monday's up and they'll both be waking up too early in the morning. It eats him alive, being ignored for over a week and haven't been able to see Jaehyun since Thanksgiving paired up with the strange behavior has Taeyong's mind in overdrive. He's so suspicious that he ends up roping Sicheng into finding out Jaehyun's whereabouts and when Sicheng texts, it hits him like a hurricane. Taeyong's nauseous when he tells him Jaehyun's been off the whole week and that the big project was completed after Thanksgiving. He doesn't want to be dramatic or desperate but there's a twisted side of him that wants to confront what all this ignorance is. Taeyong is his boyfriend, he should know all of this better than Sicheng, better than anyone.

He doesn't know how to react when he's by Jaehyun's building watching Jaehyun guide inside his building a man that's everything Taeyong isn't. He panics and knocks on the door. When Jaehyun opens the door he's surprised to see Taeyong there. He's confused more than panicked but still breaks a dimply smile.

"I didn't know you were coming, the house is kind of a mess." A mild, cheerful Jaehyun invites him in only to bump into the person that Taeyong hoped will not be inside Jaheyun's house. A boy actually, his features give way. He's young, barely looks legal and it makes Taeyong's stomach twist as the boy looks at him with marveling eyes.

"Oh wow, you're even more beautiful in real life! How did you even look at him?" The boy gestures towards Jaehyun as if pointing out to an oaf. He knows exactly who Taeyong is. It makes him feel at a loss.

"Shut up, prat, that's my boyfriend you're ogling at. Shut your trap and erase the drool from the corner of your mouth." Jaehyun clings an arm around Taeyong's shoulders guiding him closer to the boy "Sungchan, my cousin, who's going to take a shower now."

"But I want to talk to him too, I can shower later!" A whiny protest, a bit nasal comes from the boy making Taeyong melt with fondness. Too early given the prior panic he's been wrapped in. Sungchan is Jaheyun's cousin.

It's a great way to feel humiliated. Jaehyun figures why Taeyong is there but doesn't say a thing as Sungchan complains about the traffic, bureaucracy, the university entrance tests difficulty and overall becoming an adult. Jaehyun teases Sungchan with everything he moans about. It's not weird seeing him act like an old brother, it's just _new._ Jaehyun having a quirky smile but all so fond, soft dimples, God, Taeyoung could kiss him now.

"Being an adult it's not so bad. You'll see, college is another level."

"You mean study or sex?" Sungchan asks in all honesty, no bashfulness in sight. Taeyong's shook by the bluntness but he would have loved to be like him at his age. Jaehyun on the other hand chokes on his spit.

"Sungchan!"

"Anyway, when I move to the campus, I'll be seeing you a lot." He says to Taeyong eyebrows quirking up much to Jaehyun's annoyance who scoffs pulling Taeyong into a possessive embrace.

"I'll treat you nice food, your campus is close to my workplace." That makes Sungchan happy, eyes all shiny. From this angle, with this exciting puppy reaction, he can see a somewhat resemblance between him and Jaehyun. They keep talking, Taeyong doesn't even know when the time passes until Sungchan starts yawning with tears in his eyes. 

"I'm wasted." Sungchan yawns stretching like a cat.

"Oh my, look at the time," Taeyong abruptly stands up, throwing Jaehyun off him "I'll get going, you should go to bed."

"Why? You're here why not staying over?" Jaehyun catches him in a funny attempt by his ankle, making Sungchan look at them as if they've gone out of their minds. It probably is weird to see Taeyong here at all since he didn't announce his visit. It's late indeed but he doesn't want to intrude more than he already did but he's also conflicted because he doesn't want to straight out refuse his boyfriend.

"Well, I don't know, I could take the couch, I guess."

"The couch is taken unless you want to sleep with me." Sungchan is a delight, simply because he knows exactly how to press Jaehyun's wrong buttons. Jaehyun pretends he latches at him to smack him but Sungchan hides, as if even possible, behind Taeyong.

"Jae, you're making him take the couch?"

"His choice but that's for better because you're sleeping with me." He stands up to cradle Taeyong's face into his palms, looking at him in that soft but not innocent way. Taeyong flushes for the first time, he's glad Sungchan is behind him and hopefully the redness will wear before he gets to see. He doesn't get to see it because Jaehyun is dragging him towards the bedroom as if he's stealing him away. Taeyong barely gets to mutter a goodnight to the younger before Jaehyun throws them to the bed, trapping him into his arms, dancing for a while in a chaste kiss.

They stop and the biggest, dorkiest smile blooms on Jaehyun's lips and Taeyong nearly passes out of fondness. He's so cute and so much like a puppy when he gets all excited. But there's something to it. Like in a sixth sense Taeyong feels it creep up his spine. "You know, I can't say it doesn't make me feel a bit warm inside when I see you get jealous but have a little faith in me."

Taeyong knows the earlier was just a play despite being completely sure he could see Jaehyun getting jealous and possessive over him in a realistic manner. So is Taeyong, he was jealous, he was scared. But Jaehyun has a point and him putting it that way does make Taeyong feel guilty.

"I'm sorry, I know I've stepped some boundaries here but you cut me out completely Jae, I didn't know what to think of it." He looks down, avoiding Jaehyun's eyes while the younger caresses his side. "You could've told me your cousin is over you know? I would've understood, but the truth is you didn't want me to see him." Jaehyun's lips purse together. Taeyong hit the sore spot. He understands that his cousin needed his help, that his problem is important. But the fact that he didn't want Sungchan to meet Taeyong, makes him sad.

"Not like that babe, not like that." He stops caressing Taeyong so he can look him in the eyes. "Our relationship is going well, we're both learning how this is done and it's the first time for both of us. I've never introduced anyone to my family and I didn't know how you felt about that, meeting my family and all. Plus there was no time for me to talk to you because I forgot he's coming over. I know Sungchan was excited to meet you but I didn't know how to tell you."

He never thought about it. Now that he's running it through his brain, meeting each other's families at this point would be awkward when they don't know themselves that well. It's easy to make mistakes in such an environment and have them despise him forever. Or they can fall in love with the idea of them and if they don't work out eventually, their mess will involve too many people dear to them.

"I guess you're right." Jaehyun nods at Taeyong's words "I like him by the way. I really want to treat him good food when he's moving here."

"What about me?" Jaehyun's hands roam to the dangerous nether zone, lips working up Taeyong's neck turning him mushy and hot.

"Jae, stop," Taeyong's breathless as he whispers, forcing Jaehyun's hands into his own so he stops reaching further. "I'm pretty sure he knows exactly what wet dick sounds like and I love you but there's no way I'm letting you chafe my cock."

"I love you too, even if you're mean and you rejected my handjob." He smacks his boyfriend lightly. Taeyong loves anything sexy that involves them and their bodies, everything that involves them cumming but he'd rather deal with blue balls later than have Jaehyun's cousin hear him moan or worse.

The weekend before Christmas they spend it together. Taeyong did his shopping in time so he won't get to wreck his brain over what present to get Jaehyun for Christmas. They're pretty new to steady relationship thing, they will have all the time in the world to run out of ideas. At least Taeyong hopes so. When the younger approached him about presents they came to the agreement of not getting anything extravagant, just something symbolic. At the end of it, they don't celebrate Christmas as religious people do, but it's a warm season for everyone and Taeyong wants to spend time with Jaehyun after the Christmas party at Johnny's. The Christmas tree already prepared in Taeyong's studio apartment presents tucked underneath it. With Sungchan off the place, Taeyong goes over Jaehyun's, not to discuss over presents, Christmas nor to be all romantic and chaste. He was completely aware of the fact that this is a weekend they blow off all the steam they didn't get to blow.

Taeyong came prepared. Two bottles of lube in the biggest size he could get and one pack of condoms he's not sure they'll use. Chocolate bars because both he and Jaehyun feel the need to eat sweets after intense sessions, and vitamin and mineral supplements in case they overdo it. Jaehyun helped him prepare the towels they'll soak with warm water for cleaning, they both aligned essentials on the nightstand. It was surprising to find out Jaehyun is just as excited as him to start but not overly desperate knowing they have a full weekend to do everything. They took their time to kiss each other in all the possible ways. Taeyong's sure they even had their longest kiss ever just a couple of minutes before they started teasing each other's bodies because taking it slowly combined with prolonged foreplay is always a good incentive for mindblowing orgasm. It also helps with easing anxiety or nervousness, things that surprisingly are not subject for Taeyong for once but that doesn't mean he's less than understanding and assuring with his partner.

"If you can't adjust to me we stop, okay? We can do other things, switch it up." Taeyong assures as best as he can from this position, trying to keep still as a statue to let Jaehyun adjust to his length. He's happy with the naturalness of their relationship, to how they communicate before, during, and after intercourse. If things go easily for Taeyong when he's on the receiving end, the same can't be said about the younger. As much as Jaehyun enjoys anal, he is not blessed with a flexible body. His body does not open nor relax easily, they've stopped before because he could not take it. But this is one of the reasons they're falling steady in a natural way because they're both understanding and caring enough not to push or hurt the other.

"No just give me some more time. Please, I want it, I need this badly, please."

"You're doing well baby, don't stress." He kisses the top of Jaehyun's sweaty forehead thinking of his next movements to make his partner relax. If Jaehyun wants it and he managed to at least take all of Taeyong inside of him, maybe this is the time they get to do it all the way and Taeyong will wait all night, if he has to, just to give Jaehyun what he wants and what he needs. "Breathe, yeah?" He caresses Jaehyun's thighs where he knows he's the most sensitive. He bends to kiss his neck, to nip at it and down towards his nipples. Taeyong plays with one of them, rolling it between his teeth, lapping his tongue over it but Jaehyun is not that sensitive around his nipples so he moves back to his neck. He sucks at the gentle skin until Jaehyun's knocked off breath is sucked in slowly back into his lungs. Trying his best to hold his weight on a hand he reaches down between their bodies for Jaehyun's cock that lays now limp against his hip. He caresses it, pushes his thumb to the places he knows make Jaehyun's head spin. "Hmm here, you like it here the best don't you?"

"Yes, yes, feels good. There." He continues to play with his cock, it seems to do the trick as it makes Jaehyun rouse again. Taeyong insists on his neck as well, licking and kissing the spot below his pulse, feeling Jaehyun swelling into his touch. The cock throbs in his hand, precum starts oozing and Taeyong spreads it over the length to make the play more interesting. When he thumbs insistently under the head Jaehyun moans and spasms moving on Taeyong's cock and having his air punched all out once again.

"Oh fuck the squeeze! Easy yeah? I can get you off like this but if I come before you don't blame me." Taeyong chuckles because Jaehyun's so tight around him and because he has no control yet of his rim he keeps clenching around Taeyong, impossibly tight but insanely pleasurable. It makes Taeyong be vocal and let a long-drawn moan mingle with Jaehyun's airy ones.

"Now is good, you can move,"

Taeyong assures a couple of times until Jaehyun starts moving under him to prove a point. He's much more relaxed under Taeyong when he's taking his first couple of experimental thrusts before he sets a pace, not going for the best angle just yet. Taeyong knows how he likes to fuck. In the times he hookup and got to top, he developed a style. Taeyong's all about long drags back and forth, an entire workout for his abs and pelvis. Long drags who get Jaehyun's pleasure built long enough from stimulating the rim end nerves.

"That's good, ugh, fuck, yeah, keep going like this." Jaehyun encourages as he lets his eyes fall back from time to time, probably when the repetitive stimulation of the rim nerves send those pleasurable signals up his spine. The reason behind which Taeyong likes to fuck like this is that he observed, through many other things, that he can also last longer. He enjoys long sex sessions, Jaehyun does it for him as well though with him, Taeyong tends to get desperate fast, only because Jaehyun knocks him to second and third orgasms like he's feeding him cookies.

"Ready to switch things up?" He manages to break through panting, Jaehyun nods and flashes his dimples. He's all sweaty, hair plastered over his forehead, skin shimmery from head to toe. So tempting that Taeyong can't resist licking a strip from his chest tasting salt as he adjusts his position. Finding Jaehyun's prostate is not hard, not after Taeyong built his pleasure slow and long enough to have the little thing swell and look for Taeyong's tip instead. Just a couple of thrusts on a bent knee, dragging on the other flat leg and Jaehyun's breath starts rolling out in aggressive pants.

"Don't lose it, baby, it's ohh-" Jaehyun licks his lips, grips hard at Taeyong's butt, and drags him down while pushing his own hips up to meet Taeyong's in loud smacks. Taeyong's balls collide with the plush of Jaehyun's spread ass, but it feels like their bones are smacking together. Jaehyun moans keeping the pace until he ruts up on Taeyong's dick, squeezing around the cock so sweetly that it doesn't give Taeyong much time to register when that nice pooling warmth in his pelvis has rushed all the way up and spread throughout his body making Taeyong's movements lose rhythm.

"Don't pull out, cum inside." Jaehyun moans repetitive ahs in a dazzling way Taeyong's never heard before. It's what gets Taeyong over the edge, thrusts faltering as he spills and spills until his balls are lighter. Until his muscles clench and unclench as the tremors of the climax buzz through his body. There's not much he can do and he can't let Jaehyun grow cold under him. Ignoring the trembling in his body he props on a hand again and reaches for Jaehyun's impossibly hard and hot cock, all wet with his own precum and probably sweat. The slide is easy, he's careful to squeeze Jaehyun gently not painful, and strokes him up and down until he's spasming underneath him and gapes for air, eyes blow wide and so beautiful that it hurts.

There's no need for Taeyong to fall on top of Jaehyun from exhaustion. He is exhausted but Jaehyun drags him on top like his own personal blanket, kissing wherever he can reach on Taeyong's neck regardless of how awkward the delivery of the kiss is. Into his arms Taeyong lets himself adjust to the real world as the euphoria completely wears off, their bodies spasming from time to time from oversensitivity.

"That was amazing, thank you, babe! 'S been really long but so worthy." He's happy that he made him happy and he's happy that Jaehyun makes him happy. This is how it is to be loved and give love back.

Maybe they've been too expectant for their _sexkend_ because Taeyong's muscles protest and Jaehyun is too sore to even turn in bed. At least everything was prepared and Taeyong only needed to soak the towels and return to clean Jaehyun then himself. He took his time to get some scented essence because the younger likes perfumes, then returned to hold him, caress him and kiss. But it's afternoon already and their stomachs protest, plus Taeyong knows that if Jaehyun doesn't move soon, it will be even worse. If they managed to find a solution for Jaehyun to pee from his bed, it's time he gets some intervention.

"Okay, knees up baby. Two tries halfway then all the way up to your chest." Taeyong grips Jaehyun's ankles so he won't slip and get that electrocuting sensation like his back is snapped in half. "Good, now slowly rotate your knees to the left then we go back to your chest and to the right. Hands stretched by your body." There's already brunch ready for them and regardless of how romantic is to serve it on the bed, Jaehyun's state is more important.

"Do you do this all the time?" The younger locks eyes with Taeyong, so brown and soft that the only thing the elder can think of is kissing him. And so he does. "This helps a lot."

"The kiss or the stretching?"

"Hmm both." So Taeyong kisses him again after they repeat the routine one more time and Jaehyun declares he's already feeling better. Taeyong's not sure if it's a half-truth and Jaehyun just wanted to kiss him back, but he settles for the long drag of lips and soft tongue nippings.

When Jaehyun joins him in the kitchen, after using the bathroom to thoroughly clean himself up, Taeyong's almost done with the sweet surprise he had in mind for Jaehyun. They're always in need of sugar when they're drained after sex and Taeyong had tried to do this recipe for Jaehyun in a long while yet never had the chance.

"Hey, I could've helped, is this that syrupy chocolate cake you told me about?"

"Yep, we still have to wait for the flavors to set in but have a taste of the glazing." Taeyong dips his finger into the cream and sucks it into his mouth, he's really proud of how it turned.

"Mmm, 's that so, then let me have a taste." He circles one arm around Taeyong's waist pulling him to his chest. Cupping his chin he makes Taeyong part his mouth and learning in he kisses Taeyong with the tip of his tongue nipping gently at his before cocking his head and deepening it, licking all around Taeyong's mouth. "You're right, it does taste wonderful."

"You're incredible, I swear to God." Taeyong pretends his body doesn't react to the lust inside Jaehyun's eyes, to that burning hornines that consumes him just hours after they consumed a similar passion. He lets himself get dragged towards the couch, dragged because Jaehyun isn't in a shape to carry him and they move awkwardly because of that. Jaehyun kisses him more while working his hand through Taeyong's change of clothes that he hoped to keep decent or at least away from cum stains, realizing it's just a delusional thought. 

Jaehyun's at least lifting his blouse up to his armpits before he puts his mouth on Taeyong's sensitive nipples. He sucks one of them into his mouth, tongue hard against the bud. The suction is maddening, it makes Taeyong's head swim and his back arches pushing against Jaehyun's mouth. He fists at Jaehyun's hair hissing when he releases the bud in favor of the other and cold air touches the reddened area. His moans become more nasal, more desperate when Jaehyun's sucking and mounting around his nipple.

"Yeap right one's more sensitive." He says as if he's been waiting his whole life for this conclusion, lapping the tip of his tongue repetitively over the erect nub, and that simple thing has Taeyong's cock spurt precome "Sometimes, I want to make you cum just from playing with your nipples."

"I'll let you do anything to me!" Taeyong's gone. He's in that zone where he needs it badly. Anything Jaehyun wants to give.

"Oh yeah? You'd let me edge you, play with your cock over and over but not finishing you?" It's embarrassing how he's out of words, but this is Jaehyun, he already speaks the language of Taeyong's moans. The affirmative moan has him continue, pealing Taeyong's pants off, caressing his body, brushing over his swollen cock, pressing kisses over Taeyong's hips, navel, and lower abdomen.

"Fuck yeah, please do, I want to grow mad under you," Taeyong says when his brain lets him focus before Jaehyun pours lube into his hands and brushes his palms one after the other in an upward continuous motion. It hits him the lube wasn't in the living room and that Jaehyun came prepared for something. He runs his palms in the same motion with occasionally wrapping a fist around the head and tugging until Taeyong's crying out then releasing and continue to brush his palms over his cock. It's mad, it's insane to be worked up for minutes in a row without being given enough help to cum. When his cock is too hard, leaking uncontrollably and begging for release Jaehyun slips a lubed finger inside Taeyong while mounting and sucking at his nipple and keep adding fingers. "Naaagh, fuck, fuck!"

"You filled me so well and fully yesterday, I want to show you how grateful I am." Taeyong's quaking beyond normalcy from the maddening pleasure but he doesn't want Jaehyun to finish him off and he knows that's his plan. He removes himself from Jaehyun's hands eyeing the huge damp patch that grew around his crotch and salivates thinking of how hard he's gotten from what he's doing to Taeyong.

"Uhhm, I'll ride you, I'll ride you, just-" When he sinks down on Jaehyun's cock after pushing him against the couch with the speed of light, it's like falling into another realm. It's like fucking him for the first time and finding out what an amazing cock he has, finding out his cock gives the perfect stretch, the perfect rub against his walls. He rolls his lips almost desperately but he's been edged for long enough and his prostate is already oversensitive that his cum gushes out of him in what can be classified as the most outrageous orgasm he's ever had. He's stalling for a while enjoying the ride, enjoying the feeling that surged through his senses while Jaehyun holds him together. Still hard and pulsing inside Taeyong's oversensitive hole but he can't move so he'll have to deal with the oversensitivity for now. Once he's down on this realm he pulls off Jaehyun, his hole pathetically trying to clench but only gaping against air. "We can't use that entrance for a while."

Jaehyun chuckles at that, it didn't happen before that Taeyong couldn't bear with oversensitivity until he's had Jaehyun cum from fucking him, but not now. He settles between Jaehyun's legs, fisting the cock only to realize it already is as rock hard as it can be. So hard he's sure they can put nails in their walls using it instead of a hammer. He licks a couple of times at the frenulum, enjoying the short spasms on Jaehyun's body before slapping all over his face and lips with the leaking head.

"You're really beautiful when you tease but I don't want edging, I want to spill over your pretty face."

"Hmm," Taeyong purrs with Jaehyun's whole cock into his mouth just to make him feel the vibrations directly from his vocal cords "if that's so, baby wants, baby gets." And with that, he sinks back onto the cock, mouth largely open so it easily gets to his throat, clenching around the hot head because they both love Taeyong's lack of gag reflex, and bobs his head in short movements so it feels he's fucking his throat. When Jaehyun's demeanor starts to give signs Taeyong decides he wants to witness it. He takes what he can into his mouth, works his jaw tight around the cock, and sucks fervently in a tight space not losing eye contact. It's always a bliss to watch Jaehyun fall apart under his mouth, he's sure no one's ever sucked him as Taeyong does and no one will ever. 

"Fuck, fuckfuckfuck Taeyong, Tae, baby-" He rumbles pulling Taeyong off his cock harshly by his hair, keeping him close enough to his cock as he's erratically fisting and spilling over Taeyong's face, open mouth, and peeking tongue. Muscles hardening and thighs jumping as he works himself throughout his orgasm, hissing, and wheezing.

If Taeyong ever thought they're falling into some kind of bore now he's sure that no matter how long they go without touching each other or how long they fall into chaste romanticism, there's always a way back to the filthy pleasure they have to give each other.

The Christmas party goes incredibly natural. This time when Taeyong enters Ten's and Johnny's house there is no need to shade tears. While organizing the party and not only, Taeyong also started bonding with Ten. Ten confessed to Taeyong while they were together shopping for ingredients that he's always liked Taeyong, that he always wanted them to get along. Not just because he was Johnny's best friend but because Ten enjoys his company. He also confessed how down he felt when Taeyong went completely cold after their cooking sessions because he thought they bonded. The talk Taeyong dreaded the most was also brought up when Ten explained that many things made sense for him after the night he and Johnny accidentally eavesdropped on Taeyong and Jaehyun. Ten understood why Taeyong kept him at an arm's length, why he's always turned Ten's invitations down but despite everything, Ten's feelings for Taeyong haven't changed at all. Ten thinks that Taeyong brings a certain equilibrium to Johnny's life, he said he understands there are certain spots he could never fill for Johnny instead of Taeyong. Taeyong doesn't know how much of it to believe but after all that talk with Ten, he too came to understand some things.

Taeyong finally understood the dynamics of Ten and Johnny's relationship after he allowed Ten into his life. Ten is like a locomotive. He's energetic, he's persevering, he's insistent and to some extents pushy while being utterly whiney, childish, and immature enough. Ten is everything that Johnny lacks, everything that can make Johnny be his better self. Taeyong could never push him enough to make him be ambitious because Taeyong himself is a bit passive like that, not to Johnny's extent but passive enough not to be able to guide someone. In the long term, regardless of how much love there was, they wouldn't have made it work. With Jaehyun, everything is different. They're like mirrors to each other, they both move to the same currents. None of them needs pushing, just a bit of guiding but with the power of example and it's perfect for Taeyong that it doesn't drain him. And ever since he's seen it, he can't unsee it as he looks at how Ten and Johnny move around each other.

"I need to kidnap my best friend, Yong, do me the honor." Johnny comes to put a possessive grip on Taeyong's wrist. The gesture doesn't faze Jaehyun too much, it does however make Doyoung snort. "Don't throw me that stink eye, you see him every day at work and Jaehyun's already a whole different game. Plus, I begged you not to let Yuta and Ten alone for too long they've already baked too many ideas."

"Well my point too, I'm seeing Yuta all day, and Taeil's with them too. Send Mark to the rescue, I'm also having a debate with Jaehyun."

"Common, I didn't even get to see Taeyong for Thanksgiving-" Mark starts whining only for Johnny to cut him short. It's been a bit too long since they're been like this. All of them.

"Not my problem." Johnny shrugs and pulls Taeyong along to a secure place in the house. He doesn't feel uneasy, for the first time in a while Taeyong feels at peace as he follows Johnny to his small office.

Johnny's silent for a couple of moments as he just stares at Taeyong blinking enough times to realize he isn't imagining him. Typically Johnny he randomly rants about work, the office, a couple of mundane trivial stuff he encountered in Taeyong's absence. A lot of beating around the bush but nothing that's not specific to Johnny getting to a point. While he rants, Taeyong slurps in the feeling of familiarity of being around his best friend until he realizes Johnny's not ranting. He's telling Taeyong all the things he specifically gathered and kept to tell him in the eye. It makes his heart quake.

"I missed you and I miss you every time I can't see you and for Christmas, I made a wish to have my best friend back and if Santa Claus truly exists he'll bring my best friend back and never let anyone take him away from me." Johnny whisper-confesses as he holds Taeyong's hand in his. The warmth familiar but it doesn't make him feel the majority of things it used to. That majority of things belongs now to someone else. Someone Taeyong loves that way.

"You're jealous of Jaehyun." It's simple, this is his best friend at the end of it.

"Crazily jealous! Can't believe it's that fucker! Is this how Te- nevermind, I'm also jealous of Doyoung when he's telling me all the things I don't hear directly from you." _Is this how Ten made you feel_ , Taeyong supposes Johnny wanted to say but stopped. He stopped because Taeyong made it taboo. Maybe there's a new start for everything and Taeyong has put the drama behind him now. Plus, the fact that Johnny is this jealous of Jaehyun is too funny and satisfying not to talk about.

"Yes, it's exactly how Ten made me feel all the way back. I felt like there were things taken from me at a speed that didn't let me react. I felt it was unfair but I also understood you love him and it's natural for him to have all those things with you. But after speaking to him, recently, I also understood that there's a place for me next to you, that it always was and there will always be. Likewise for you, my best friend forever, there's a place with me no one will fill but you." He puts his other hands on top of their interlaced hands and Johnny brings his free hand there too, not before caressing Taeyong's face like he used to do. "Doyoung too is your other best friend and now he's one of my closest friends as well. We need to share him."

"Like we share the others. I'd love to spend time with you and Doyoung together but I want my time with you only, too. And I want to know about you and Jaehyun too, does he really make you happy?"

"Truly happy, maybe it's too early or delusional to say it out loud but Johnny, I think he's the one. Can't say if he feels the same but to me, it feels like that." They're speaking in hushed voices despite being completely sure no one can hear them judging by the amount of noise that's coming behind the closed door. But it's their thing to share secrets in hushed voices, ever since they were about twelve and Johnny's got his first wet dream. He told Taeyong everything about the traumatizing experience which only helped Taeyong with his panic once it happened to him too, a couple of months later. When Taeyong got back to Johnny with the story, the latter hold him into his embrace until he calmed down, and only after he released Taeyong he told him what needs to be done in order to avoid it. There are secrets he's only shared with Johnny, and secrets Johnny only shared with Taeyong.

"God Doyoung was right, you do blush like hell when it's about him. Taeyong, that's really beautiful and new. I'm not used to it and it's strange that I'm jealous of him but at the same time I'm so happy for you. You deserve someone to make you happy." 

"He also makes me squirt." He chuckles at Johnny's bewildered expression, squeezing him tighter.

"What? Shut up! Can man even squirt? I mean Ten's having multiple orgasms in one round sometimes, but mostly dry."

"Apparently I can. But enough of that, how's going with all the changes since marrying?"

"I wish I'd say something sexy but the fucker scolds me for leaving my socks or underwear randomly but he never washes his feet until before we go to bed!" And Taeyong laughs as they keep sharing little secrets before they finally go back to the party, where Jaehyun's chewing at his cheek between Kun and Sicheng while Mark and Ten animate the group with their contradictory chats. Once in a very far away time, that was Taeyong's and Jaehyun's task.

The party almost withers, probably age catching upon them all. Johnny announces it's time to spread the gifts. Like any other year, they raised the money together and let Taeil and Kun deal with the presents since they're the ones who know how to make reasonable gifts and not unuseful things like they used to get before Kun joined the group. 

Unlike in other years, Taeyong leaves the party holding Jaehyun's warm hand all the way to his house where they'll be exchanging the presents that are already under the Christmas tree at his house. A bunch of thoughts are running through his mind as they take their clothes off, change into cozy ones, and walk to the tree. They didn't wear ugly Christmas sweaters because Sicheng moaned over how Christmas and Halloween are two different celebrations. They all agreed while Taeyong kept Johnny's secret safe because Johnny loves Christmas sweaters.

"I guess I'll have to get used to you gossiping me with your best friend?" Jaehyun jokes but not really, Taeyong knows he's partly jealous but he has an idea on how to ease that jealousy. He is confident he can balance his love for Jaehyun with spending time with Johnny.

"Like you've never done it with Yuta or Sicheng." Of course, he knows but does it bother Taeyong? Not in the least, Jaehyun has his best friends for a reason. They need each other, give each other the needed attention but closing off the circle to the two of them, will not be good. They need their friends too.

"Touche, though I kind of enjoyed his pain and he knows and will chew my ass."

"I'll defend your pride. Can we open presents?" Taeyong whines but Jaehyun still kisses him on the forehead.

They exchange presents in an excited manner. Their first time sharing gifts with their first serious boyfriends. Taeyong got Jaehyun a matching silk pajama since he knows how much he likes Taeyong's. Jaehyun got him a new pair of silver earrings, earrings Taeyong lost on their first encounter, and hasn't been able to purchase a new pair. Needless to say how happy he is.

"You kind of cheated, this brand is not cheap."

"Want me to tell you things about the label on the pajama?" Touche, he doesn't say anything anymore because he's right, they both cheated but with their hearts in the right places. "Come here, there's something I want to talk to you about."

He feels a bit anxious as Jaehyun's guiding him closer and closer until Taeyong falls into his lap, close to his chest before adjusting his position to be level eye. Jaehyun chuckles a bit at Taeyong's nervousness, the roles back into their original place. He sneaks his arms around Taeyong's wais and Taeyong's bringing them up to circle his own around the younger's neck. Together, they rest their backs against the couch leg.

"You're nervous and this won't help because it's a serious conversation but I need to tell you things and I need to know how you feel back." Jaehyun starts by licking his lips wet, brushing a strand of hair away from Taeyong's eyes, and making sure they maintain eye contact. "I love you, you know that already. Might be too early, I don't know don't want to overthink, but what I need you to know is that I love you for what you are, for who you are. I didn't choose you because you were an easy pick. I didn't want to fall into no strings attached or take advantage of your vulnerability.

"I chose you because I was attracted to you even before all this despite our banters. After I had you the second time I couldn't stop thinking that there can be more to us, that if I love you first and prove it to you you will love me back and I'll finally get to have by my side that person I always craved for. You make me happy Taeyong. I genuinely feel enamored and happy. I love our chemistry and everything about us. We're going steady and I know it's our first try for commitment and we're taking it slow. I don't want to rush anything but I do wish to start spending more time together, to slowly move in together. I hope at some point next year you'll want to meet my family and I don't mean it in a scary way like it happened with Sungchan. I'd rather introduce you formally than have my mom ring my bell one day randomly and finding you in my apartment as if you're not the most important person to me."

Taeyong listens to Jaehyun but reads all of it inside his eyes. The emotions without a veil and not because they're vulnerable after an orgasm. The real feelings when they're both sober. Jaehyun doesn't say things because he wants to trigger Taeyong's pleasure, he's honest and he's implying so many things that Taeyong needs a moment to process. Not a long moment because as always they're both on the same wavelength. Taeyong wants to spend more time with Jaehyun, he gets the implication behind all of it. Jaehyun hopes at some point next year they'll move in together. He too wants to take Jaehyun home, to tell them this is the man he loves. His parents will like him for sure, and even if Taeyong doesn't have any siblings, he's sure Donghyuck and Jeno, his cousins, will click with Jaehyun just like he clicked with Sungchan. He realizes he needs to tell this to Jaehyun and not keep him waiting but before he does so, he presses his lips on Jaehyun's.

"Oh God, I'm not crying yet but that's just because you ground me. You've grounded me since that day and are absolutely the best thing that happened to me. This journey was not simple to me, forgetting Johnny and you're right, I didn't choose you because of that either. I choose you because you started making me feel things I haven't felt before and I realized at some point that I've always read you wrong. I used to think you're shallow before I got to really know you. Now my feelings are clear, I mean it with my whole heart when I say I love you. Spending more time together, give it a try to moving in, match my feelings too. And yes, I'd love to meet your family and you to meet mine, I'd love that a lot too."

"Thank you for choosing to grab my hand, love."

"Thank you for grabbing it back."

"So, be mine?"

"Already yours."

**Author's Note:**

> Please do let me know what you think!  
> Meanwhile, I want to thank everyone who showed appreciation in the first part, I'm super happy interacting with you and I want you to know this sequel happened thanks to you too.  
> Don't want to be a bore but there's no other way for me to express my gratitude towards those who pressed the Kudo button and to those who took their time to write some words back to me <3<3<3


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